Is this timely? No. Am I doing it anyways? Yes.
16. seven
“Are there still beautiful things?”
This song is about childhood and that is not the traumatic period I’m currently dealing with right now.
15. invisible string
“And isn’t it just so pretty to think / all along there was some / invisible string / tying you to me”
I almost actively hate the lyrics of this song but I like the chorus so.
14. cardigan
“When you are young they assume you know nothing”
The difference between me at 34 and me at 24 is now I know I know nothing!!
13. the 1
“And if you wanted me, you really should’ve showed”
The melody is too upbeat to cry to but there are some legit lines in this.
12. the last great american dynasty
“She had a marvelous time ruining everything”
It me, except it’s been a marvelous/excruciating time.
11. august
“To live for the hope of it all / Canceled plans just in case you’d call”
This summer one of the guys I dated canceled on me and then 30 seconds later suggested we have a threesome “soon.” Major personal breakthrough: I did not have sex with him again!
10. exile
“I think I’ve seen this film before / And I didn’t like the ending”
I read Wikipedia entries for movies I’m going to see. I know this makes me a monster and I really do not care. Plus Bon Iver.
9. illicit affairs
“But it dies and it dies and it dies / A million little times”
I’m just trying to drive to work, Taylor.
8. betty
“The worst thing that I ever did / Was what I did to you”
It me, again.
7. my tears ricochet
“And if I’m on fire, you’ll be made of ashes, too”
There are a few men this song reminds me of and my ex husband is not one of them.
6. mad woman
“Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy / What about that?”
I consider this a companion piece to Beyonce’s “Hold Up.” Bitches be crazy about getting gaslit by significant others.
5. epiphany
“Just one single glimpse of relief / To make some sense of what you’ve seen”
I started writing again because it’s the only way I know how to make my feelings coherent. It makes things hurt worse sometimes, but in an understandable way!
4. mirrorball
“I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try / I’m still on that trapeze / I’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me”
A guy told me he liked me because he knew I’d “do anything to keep [him] horny” and I realized oh maybe that’s not flattering? Still sent him nudes though.
3. peace
“But I would die for you in secret”
I can turn anything into a reference to King Lear and I will do so here, thank you. Cordelia, darling Cordelia, says “I cannot heave my heart into my mouth.” I said that at my wedding; I was 23. When you are young you are stupid.
2. this is me trying
“And my words shoot to kill when I’m mad / I have a lot of regrets about that”
😞
1. hoax
“Stood on on the cliffside screaming, ‘Give me a reason’ / your faithless love is the only hoax I believe in”
After the initial infatuation/chemically-mediated period of a relationship, love as a conspiratorial, shared delusion is kind of brilliant? Plus, this is a crying song. I am the woman on 94 in a mom car with no kids sob-singing about faithless love and I do not care.